RIPPERDAN IS A BITCH

“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”

“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”

“Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’”